To Infinite and Beyond

I feel like im living in a beautiful bowl of fruit. except im that nasty brown one on the bottom that noone wants to eat, but will never throw away.. Lifes confusing sometimes. One day when i ripe i want someone to eat me. It sounds wrong but metaphorically speaking i mean, one day i want someone to want me as much as i want them.. haah idk what im saying. Im not relationship material. Im always that cute one that people adore. Im never that sexy one where people want on. haha its true though, i guess i dont mind anyhow xD

As we live our lives among the people by our sides, we start to forget the true meaning of being a friend. We take advantage of the things we call annoying. And claim no responsibility to what one might feel that in fact is caused by your own hands. But then you suffer, and when you do, it’s already been too late to realize it. So who are we as a person? Of being a good friend, or a bad one. “I must talk, and you must listen, for we are engaged here in the most important pursuit in history: the search for meaning. What is the nature of being a person? What is the best way to go about being a person? How did we come to be, and what will become of us when we are no longer? In short: what are the rules of this game, and how might we best play it?” -John green

I don’t even know what my intentions are anymore. Haha. When I mess up, I’ll try to fix it. Either Making it messier-or i’ll continue on looking like a fool.. I guess I was just too dumb to see at first. And maybe I could’ve just let loose and gave in. Or maybe I’m just thinking too much- planting new ideas in my head that kills me mentally. Or….. Maybe these thoughts could all be Foreal.

That’s my life.
If I could really explain how I felt, you’d think I was telling you about another “notebook” movie. Expectations vs. reality.

Hakuna Matata right?

I dont know what I want anymore… I dont know how to make myself feel satisfied. Lifes just not the way it should be. and when i have that satisfying moment, its just not enough.. I just dont know anymore. i never know anything.. but this time.. I really dont know.. Im sick of this tug of war game, or this assuming shit game, and this too stubborn to give a shit game.. were just never on the same page. I dont need that anymore.. its not getting us anywhere. It just hurts to see that some people can handle this better than i can. or it could just be me thinking there is a problem when there actually isnt.. who knows..

I just wanna be free…

free from what?.. thats a good question.

hakuna matata right?

Do you know those angry times when your just so angry and stubborn that you immediately blurt out “I wish we never met!” or “i wish we were never this close” or ” i wish you were out of my life” or just any kind of “I wish..”I remember a long time ago.. A long time ago, when I was a crabby patty on a bun. I wished that we’d just forget about each other and live our own lives. I’m so stupid..shouldn’t have Never even thought of it… I never believed in wishes, but it came true.. And I regret speaking of it. I’m sorry. If I could take it back, I definitely would… Don’t take advantage of life

You really don’t know how important something was to you untill it’s gone….

Things change. or maybe its just me. 

who knows. 

hakuna matata right?

“He who is heartless, once cared too much.” thats forsure..

hakuna matata right?

Everything i had or thought i had was all a misunderstanding. well with you atleast. Its time to give up.